First, I read Alas, A Blog‘s recent post on the subject, MRAs And Anti-Feminists Have Ruined Complaining About Being Single.Second, I had yet another patient who – (I feel obligated to say at this point that the specific details of these patient stories are made up, and several of them are composites of multiple different people, in order to protect confidentiality.It does not mean “I am nice in some important cosmic sense, therefore I am entitled to sex with whomever I want.” It means: “I am a nicer guy than Henry.” Or to spell it out very carefully, Henry clearly has no trouble attracting partners.He’s been married five times and had multiple extra-marital affairs and pre-marital partners, many of whom were well aware of his past domestic violence convictions and knew exactly what they were getting into.I’m a harder worker than they are, he said – and I believed him – so how is that fair?
” There seems to be some confusion about this, so let me explain what it means, to everyone, for all time.
Most of the commenters saw a conservative guy trying to push an ideological point, and I guess that’s part of it.
But for me it looked more like the story of a psychiatrist from an upper-middle-class background suddenly realizing how dysfunctional and screwed-up a lot of his patients are and having his mind recoil in horror from the fact – which is something I can sympathize with.
Meanwhile, here I was, twenty-five years old, never been on a date in my life, every time I ask someone out I get laughed at, I’m constantly teased and mocked for being a virgin and a nerd whom no one could ever love, starting to develop a serious neurosis about it.
And here I was, tried my best never to be mean to anyone, pursued a productive career, worked hard to help all of my friends. Even three years ago, I knew there were Henry-like people – your abusers, your rapists, your bullies – and it wasn’t hard to notice that none of them seemed to be having the crushing loneliness problem I was suffering from.